It turns out I'm an introvert in disguise. For my whole life I've thought I was an extrovert, but nope, wrong. I'm chatty and exciteable and socially adept but I default to quiet solo activities when given the choice. I don't actually prioritize spending time with friends; I practically have to be dragged to social events. HB has been pushing me to get out of the apartment a little bit for my own good. Last week one of my favorite classmates in my grad program, El, invited a few of us to her home, and so I sternly told myself I couldn't skip it.
And so, ensconced in wicker chairs on El's deep southern-style porch, we discussed teaching philosophies, our grad program, and personal growth. All three of them are full-time employed in preschools; I'm minimally employed, flitting between babysitting and tutoring shifts, and spending the rest of my ample free time preparing for the month-long bicycle tour HB and I are planning and working on a few art/zine projects. El just started a job at Escuela, a bilingual preschool in our neighborhood, which incidentally is the preschool that Ezra just started attending. Two of my other favorite classmates also work there, one as the assistant director. All of them have been encouraging me to apply for a substitute position at Escuela for months and months.
So this week, at El's invitation, I did a two hour visit to Escuela.
I loved it.
I don't have a whole lot to compare it to, since my preschool teaching experience is limited to the three summers I spent between college terms working as an assistant/sub/floater teacher at the large, primary-colored, corporate preschool in my parents' very affluent, suburban neighborhood. My impression of that school can be summed up with "loved the kids, hated the rest of it."
Escuela felt completely different. There were no arbitrary rules, and the kids were not only permitted to explore their ideas but given the space and time to really dig deep into their projects. Transitions were gradual and followed a fluid rhythm rather than a rigid schedule, so that part of El's class was outside while four of them remained inside with their other teacher for an extra 20 minutes working on their project (tearing up leaves and petals on a light table and making "ice cream and sandwiches" with them) until they were ready to head outside. Collaboration and conflict resolution arose organically and without teacher intervention. Most of the classrooms were open so that kids could float between them instead of being locked into their own room with their own age group. And, small but important, they have a garden that the kids accessed during their outdoor play, picking and eating the produce they had been growing.
After my visit, I stopped in at the office and chatted with the assistant director (also one of my favorite classmates) about applying for the sub position. She's setting me up with the paperwork, and if all goes well, I should be starting at the beginning of November, when HB and I get back from our big trip. The sub position is a good way for me to feel it out, decide if it seems like a great long-term fit or whether I should continue looking at the other preschools on my "preschool crushes" list.
Ezra's parents are very excited that I'm applying there -- Ezra's dad keeps saying he'll tell the director to hire me and give me a raise right away, which is very sweet but a little overbearing.
I'm really looking forward to it.
High fives,
-MP
Showing posts with label Ezra. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ezra. Show all posts
Thursday, 19 September 2013
Saturday, 24 August 2013
the best big sister
Sasha is such an awesome big sister to Ezra. I love watching their relationship development as Ezra gets more and more capable of participating in Sasha's play.
Hugs,
-MP
Tuesday, 23 July 2013
summer toddler
Ezra loves scooping and dumping sand. We find little heaps of sand all over the yard, as well as buckets and bowls lovingly half-filled with sand or gravel, all Ezra's doing. His mom calls it his "jobs."
I have mentioned Ezra's love of
doing "jobs" in the past; lately he is very insistent that he be
the one to walk the dog. This is the compromise.
This week Ezra made a friend at the park. They were within a month of each
other's age, and spent a good 15 minutes haltingly passing handfuls of
barkchips back and forth (and to me and the other kid's grandma). It was very
cute.
Ezra has graduated from high chair to table. He is very adamant about it. And he's eating balanced meals, unlike his carbohydrates-only sister.
Hugs,
-MP
Wednesday, 29 May 2013
goofy foot
Ezra's favorite way to sit in his high chair is with one foot -- his left foot, specifically -- wedged up against the edge of the tray. Goofy kid.
High fives,
-MP
Saturday, 25 May 2013
life update (transitions, pt. 2)
We have a lot of exciting transitions happening in the next few months. Let me explain. No, there is too much; let me sum up.
Moving to an apartment with HB; major reduction in hours with Sasha & Ezra, ending care with Athena; starting regular hours with Jaden; working on a graphic novel; taking weird summer intensives at grad school; traveling in the fall; starting regular preschool teaching (hopefully) between November and January.
Okay, but here's the long version.
Moving to an apartment with HB; major reduction in hours with Sasha & Ezra, ending care with Athena; starting regular hours with Jaden; working on a graphic novel; taking weird summer intensives at grad school; traveling in the fall; starting regular preschool teaching (hopefully) between November and January.
Okay, but here's the long version.
apparel
Ezra is starting to assert some opinions about what he wears, and tries to put on some of his clothes himself. Mainly socks, shoes, and hats, and by "tries to put on" I mean he sort of jams them up against the appropriate body part. But still! Progress! Emerging personality!
This week he was insistent that he wear this ridiculous pink and red striped monstrosity on his head. It is either a froufy costume bag, or possibly his sister's hat -- I'm not sure which.
I think he rocked it.
Hugs,
-MP
This week he was insistent that he wear this ridiculous pink and red striped monstrosity on his head. It is either a froufy costume bag, or possibly his sister's hat -- I'm not sure which.
I think he rocked it.
Hugs,
-MP
Sunday, 28 April 2013
made for walkin'
Ezra has finally, finally started walking for real. Athena went from zero to walking in like three days, but Ezra took his own sweet time, and wanted a lot of practice before making the switch from primarily crawling to primarily walking. He's been using rolling toys, dining room chairs, and big people fingers for like, two months. For about three weeks he's been (adorably) walking a few steps unassisted between one encouraging person and another, then collapsing joyfully into their outstretched arms. Just this week he finally decided he could take more than three steps at a time by himself, without coaxing, and go just about anywhere he pleases. He is thrilled with himself.
On one of our sunny days this week, I stripped Ezra down to just a t-shirt, initially thinking he might like a chance to air out somewhere it didn't matter if he took a wee on his own feet. It turned out he hated the feeling of the grass on his bare bum, so anytime he fell down he immediately popped back up, usually with an offended shriek. I left him pantsless for two hours, and he spent the entire time wobbling around the backyard, and occasionally trying to climb things.
My grad school program is based out of the Reggio Emilia approach to preschool education. One of the major tenants of Reggio is trusting children to take risks and allowing them to feel the power of their own bodies. Before thinking about it this way, I think I would have been much more likely to just block kids' access to potentially risky objects, or physically move the kid to the end point instead of letting them go through the process of trying their own bodies at something they're not quite yet capable of reliably doing without assistance. For example, Ezra wanted to look out his bedroom window but it's above his eye level. Rather than just ignore his pointing or hold him up to see out, I moved a step stool against the wall under his window and gave him the space to try it on his own. And then rather than just setting him on the top step, I guided him verbally and physically to climb the stairs himself. Soon I shifted to just verbal encouragement, and hovered my hands near him to catch him if he slipped, and let him do the whole thing on his own. He is so proud of himself going up and down those steps!
Similarly, Sasha's play structure in the backyard has a wide ladder on one side leading up to a platform five feet above the ground. I used to just lift Ezra to the top platform and sit up there with him, but now I help him move his hands and feet to pull himself up the ladder, which is a little too large for him to do on his own, but possible for him to do with assistance. This reminds me of scaffolding, which is a theory of learning that comes out of social constructivism -- that kids "scaffold" their knowledge when they push themselves to do things at the edge of their ability level that others around them can already do. Grad school has practical life applications!
Hugs,
-MP
On one of our sunny days this week, I stripped Ezra down to just a t-shirt, initially thinking he might like a chance to air out somewhere it didn't matter if he took a wee on his own feet. It turned out he hated the feeling of the grass on his bare bum, so anytime he fell down he immediately popped back up, usually with an offended shriek. I left him pantsless for two hours, and he spent the entire time wobbling around the backyard, and occasionally trying to climb things.
My grad school program is based out of the Reggio Emilia approach to preschool education. One of the major tenants of Reggio is trusting children to take risks and allowing them to feel the power of their own bodies. Before thinking about it this way, I think I would have been much more likely to just block kids' access to potentially risky objects, or physically move the kid to the end point instead of letting them go through the process of trying their own bodies at something they're not quite yet capable of reliably doing without assistance. For example, Ezra wanted to look out his bedroom window but it's above his eye level. Rather than just ignore his pointing or hold him up to see out, I moved a step stool against the wall under his window and gave him the space to try it on his own. And then rather than just setting him on the top step, I guided him verbally and physically to climb the stairs himself. Soon I shifted to just verbal encouragement, and hovered my hands near him to catch him if he slipped, and let him do the whole thing on his own. He is so proud of himself going up and down those steps!
 |
| yes, he does have his hair in a gaudy flowered ponytail, the day before his mom took him in for a "boy" haircut |
Similarly, Sasha's play structure in the backyard has a wide ladder on one side leading up to a platform five feet above the ground. I used to just lift Ezra to the top platform and sit up there with him, but now I help him move his hands and feet to pull himself up the ladder, which is a little too large for him to do on his own, but possible for him to do with assistance. This reminds me of scaffolding, which is a theory of learning that comes out of social constructivism -- that kids "scaffold" their knowledge when they push themselves to do things at the edge of their ability level that others around them can already do. Grad school has practical life applications!
Hugs,
-MP
Tuesday, 16 April 2013
first birthday board books
When each of my babies turned one, I made them a personalized board book. I have been taking pictures with my cell phone almost every day I'm with them for the past eight months with this project in mind. Out of the hundreds of shitty cell phone pictures I've taken, there were about 15-20 decent quality ones of each kid.
I used mycustomstory.com to upload photos and design each book. I filled each with very simple sentences like "Ezra plays outside" and "Athena likes to learn " to match each picture.
The babies think their birthday board books are good teething toys and occasionally fun for throwing. The parents are somewhat more sentimental. There were misty mom eyes for sure.
Hugs,
-MP
I used mycustomstory.com to upload photos and design each book. I filled each with very simple sentences like "Ezra plays outside" and "Athena likes to learn " to match each picture.
The babies think their birthday board books are good teething toys and occasionally fun for throwing. The parents are somewhat more sentimental. There were misty mom eyes for sure.
Hugs,
-MP
Sunday, 14 April 2013
weight
For a few months I've been mulling over a conversation I need to have with Sasha and Ezra's parents. I've been waiting to compose and send that email until I have felt like we're balanced -- that I don't owe them any favors and they don't owe me. Or maybe that they owe me a little.
So finally, today, a few days before Sasha's birthday, I did it. I spent two hours writing and rewriting a two-page email that boils down to a request to quit a few months ahead of schedule. I made a verbal contract to stick it out for a whole year with their family, but there are actually a lot (two pages worth) of reasons for me to withdraw before the summer starts. The weighted dread coiled in my gut of spending three full days a week with Sasha notwithstanding. The reasons are more to do with my grad school and classroom teaching trajectories and the impracticality (financially and topographically) of a bicycle-based transportation system that would allow me to get the kids out of the house during the three long months of summer break.
I tried to ease the blow by wrapping the whole thing in the word "transition" rather than the harsher "quitting" or "leaving," even though essentially that's what I'm after. I also offered reduced-time compromises that I hope they don't want. I hope they will see the sense of hiring a new nanny in June rather than waiting until September.
I feel lighter, but not by as much as I had thought I would. I guess their answer will determine what happens with the remaining weight I'm lugging around inside my belly.
Hugs,
-MP
So finally, today, a few days before Sasha's birthday, I did it. I spent two hours writing and rewriting a two-page email that boils down to a request to quit a few months ahead of schedule. I made a verbal contract to stick it out for a whole year with their family, but there are actually a lot (two pages worth) of reasons for me to withdraw before the summer starts. The weighted dread coiled in my gut of spending three full days a week with Sasha notwithstanding. The reasons are more to do with my grad school and classroom teaching trajectories and the impracticality (financially and topographically) of a bicycle-based transportation system that would allow me to get the kids out of the house during the three long months of summer break.
I tried to ease the blow by wrapping the whole thing in the word "transition" rather than the harsher "quitting" or "leaving," even though essentially that's what I'm after. I also offered reduced-time compromises that I hope they don't want. I hope they will see the sense of hiring a new nanny in June rather than waiting until September.
I feel lighter, but not by as much as I had thought I would. I guess their answer will determine what happens with the remaining weight I'm lugging around inside my belly.
Hugs,
-MP
Tuesday, 12 March 2013
Ezra's newest trick
He's very proud of his downward dog pose, and will literally crawl up to you and then pull out the baby yoga in hopes of praise. If you walk away, he will scuttle after you, reposition himself at your feet, and try it again. Hilarious.
Hugs,
-MP
Saturday, 9 March 2013
baby styles
My two babies are about two months apart in age, and right now
they're neck-and-neck developmentally speaking. They're both on the
brink of walking, they're both beginning to obviously understand much of
what I say to them, they're both nurturing a sense of humor.
But they each have their own distinct style.
They have both learned how to wave goodbye, but while Ezra's wave is a dopey looking full-arm flopping affair, Athena's is a perfect, refined princess wave. Her wave belongs on a parade float.
They both have fully committed to the dropping-food-on-the-floor stage of life. But while Ezra drops food (half of the time by accident) and then immediately cranes over the high chair tray to see if the dog will eat it, Athena picks up her food, delicately licks it, and then flings it as hard as she can across the kitchen.
Ezra is extremely food motivated. When I pick Ezra up, he will desperately unleash all five ASL signs I've taught him (more, all done, milk, diaper change, please) in the hopes that they will result in food. When I try to teach Athena ASL signs, she deliberately looks the other way. She is not interested in your puerile human tricks. She might eat the food you offer her, if she feels like it. But only if you hand feed her one nibble at a time. Otherwise it's a swift swipe to the floor.
So basically what I'm saying is that Ezra is kind of like a dog, and Athena is kind of like a cat.
High fives,
-MP
But they each have their own distinct style.
They have both learned how to wave goodbye, but while Ezra's wave is a dopey looking full-arm flopping affair, Athena's is a perfect, refined princess wave. Her wave belongs on a parade float.
They both have fully committed to the dropping-food-on-the-floor stage of life. But while Ezra drops food (half of the time by accident) and then immediately cranes over the high chair tray to see if the dog will eat it, Athena picks up her food, delicately licks it, and then flings it as hard as she can across the kitchen.
Ezra is extremely food motivated. When I pick Ezra up, he will desperately unleash all five ASL signs I've taught him (more, all done, milk, diaper change, please) in the hopes that they will result in food. When I try to teach Athena ASL signs, she deliberately looks the other way. She is not interested in your puerile human tricks. She might eat the food you offer her, if she feels like it. But only if you hand feed her one nibble at a time. Otherwise it's a swift swipe to the floor.
So basically what I'm saying is that Ezra is kind of like a dog, and Athena is kind of like a cat.
High fives,
-MP
Saturday, 2 March 2013
workin' it
Ezra just turned one, which means it's time for him to buck up and start working for his keep.
Conveniently, he's very self-motivated, and happily assigns himself "jobs" that he meticulously completes. He's quite handy to have around.
He washes the windows.
He drags all of our shoes into a pile in the middle of the floor.
And he sweeps!
Hugs,
-MP
Conveniently, he's very self-motivated, and happily assigns himself "jobs" that he meticulously completes. He's quite handy to have around.
He washes the windows.
He puts things away where he believes they belong, which is usually under cushions. Lollipops, alphabet magnets, socks, crumpled tissues -- really just about everything belongs under cushions.
He drags all of our shoes into a pile in the middle of the floor.
And he sweeps!
Hugs,
-MP
Monday, 25 February 2013
in which grad school is the best
Mondays are solidly my favorite day of the week. I have just Ezra for the first half of the day, and then sometime after a nap, a walk, and several rounds of snacks, I plunk him in the Ergo and go fetch Sasha from school. We always meander home fairly slowly, swapping weekend stories, pointing out the things we see, and of course discussing Harry Potter.
I get Sasha set up with a snack, lay Ezra down for a nap, and return to Sasha to get her going on her math or reading homework, and then it's time for me to clamber onto my bike and head off to campus, leaving the kids in their dad's care for the remainder of the afternoon.
The reason Mondays are my favorite is because I get to go to class.
This is a stark departure from my undergraduate college experience, which for me was much more about community building and identity formation than academics. In undergrad, two thirds of the classes I was taking were not in my specialization, and many of my classmates would show up to class not having done the reading homework and then bullshit their way through the day's discussions. (I was absolutely not an exception.) In grad school, everything I take is immediately relevant, and I can trust that not only have all of my classmates done all of the reading, but they've also likely done extra reading and research simply because they are as excited about what we're learning as I am.
This semester the class I'm taking is a diversity & social justice course. I consider myself fairly well versed in social justice issues, but I didn't know there are so many resources for early childhood teachers for building anti-bias themes into their curriculum! I read both of our textbooks in just a few days each, and launched into an independent project where I'm reviewing children's books that feature diversity and anti-bias themes. It's a really fun project, and one I've been meaning to start since I began collecting names of social justice themed children's books two or three years ago. My professor just gave me the kickstart I needed. If any of my readers are interested in seeing the blog I've started to document my reviews, email me at hugsorhigh5s at gmail and I'll send you the link. It's connected to my real name, so I won't post the url here.
More and more I'm feeling ready to take on more coursework and scale back on nannying. I really miss the classroom environment, and I'm so incredibly excited about curriculum development, so I'm hopeful that I might be able to move on from private childcare to preschool teaching as early as this fall, and increase my classload as soon as summer term. I'm waiting to have those conversation with Sasha's family, because it will mean my slow and inevitable goodbye.
Hugs,
-MP
I get Sasha set up with a snack, lay Ezra down for a nap, and return to Sasha to get her going on her math or reading homework, and then it's time for me to clamber onto my bike and head off to campus, leaving the kids in their dad's care for the remainder of the afternoon.
The reason Mondays are my favorite is because I get to go to class.
This is a stark departure from my undergraduate college experience, which for me was much more about community building and identity formation than academics. In undergrad, two thirds of the classes I was taking were not in my specialization, and many of my classmates would show up to class not having done the reading homework and then bullshit their way through the day's discussions. (I was absolutely not an exception.) In grad school, everything I take is immediately relevant, and I can trust that not only have all of my classmates done all of the reading, but they've also likely done extra reading and research simply because they are as excited about what we're learning as I am.
This semester the class I'm taking is a diversity & social justice course. I consider myself fairly well versed in social justice issues, but I didn't know there are so many resources for early childhood teachers for building anti-bias themes into their curriculum! I read both of our textbooks in just a few days each, and launched into an independent project where I'm reviewing children's books that feature diversity and anti-bias themes. It's a really fun project, and one I've been meaning to start since I began collecting names of social justice themed children's books two or three years ago. My professor just gave me the kickstart I needed. If any of my readers are interested in seeing the blog I've started to document my reviews, email me at hugsorhigh5s at gmail and I'll send you the link. It's connected to my real name, so I won't post the url here.
More and more I'm feeling ready to take on more coursework and scale back on nannying. I really miss the classroom environment, and I'm so incredibly excited about curriculum development, so I'm hopeful that I might be able to move on from private childcare to preschool teaching as early as this fall, and increase my classload as soon as summer term. I'm waiting to have those conversation with Sasha's family, because it will mean my slow and inevitable goodbye.
Hugs,
-MP
Monday, 21 January 2013
Two new things in Ezra's life
1. Ezra's mom gave him his first haircut because "with that clip in his hair everyone always thought he was a girl and he's not!" but all she did was cut his bangs so now he has this hilariously stupid baby mullet hairdo oh my god
and
2. He started deliberately signing his first word! It's "more," of course. Like a dog, he is extremely food motivated, so I've been bribing him with blueberries for a few months trying to get him to do a new trick. And now he does it! Not even a year old yet and he looks me dead in the eye, grunts dramatically, and pokes his little index fingers together vehemently.
The time he's most likely to do it is while he's flat on his back on the changing table, though, which is extremely perplexing to me. The sign for "more" does look kinda like the sign for "change," but not that much like it.
Hugs,
-MP
and
2. He started deliberately signing his first word! It's "more," of course. Like a dog, he is extremely food motivated, so I've been bribing him with blueberries for a few months trying to get him to do a new trick. And now he does it! Not even a year old yet and he looks me dead in the eye, grunts dramatically, and pokes his little index fingers together vehemently.
The time he's most likely to do it is while he's flat on his back on the changing table, though, which is extremely perplexing to me. The sign for "more" does look kinda like the sign for "change," but not that much like it.
Hugs,
-MP
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
converging
Until recently, HB and I have never taken care of kids (besides her nephews) together. She goes to her nanny job, I go to mine, we reconvene in the evening to recount the adorable, the frustrating, and the ridiculous.
The approach of the holidays (and the apocalypse) have been throwing everything out of orbit, and consequently our nannying schedules have been different enough from usual that we've had a few opportunities to visit each other during our shifts (with the families' permission).
Last week HB biked all the way to Sasha and Ezra's house with me, and I introduced her to Sasha's mom. While I feel kind of weird around Sasha's dad, I'm super comfortable with her mom and figured she'd be delighted to meet HB -- and she was. "You're totally welcome to hang out any time, you'll have to meet Ezra when he's not napping! And Sasha loves people, I bet she'd love to meet you!" So later that very same day, HB and I met up (Ezra in the Ergo on my chest) and took him, with ponytail and flowery hairclip and baby flannel, to a kid-friendly cafe to play in their kid corner.
A day or two later, I biked to the science museum after handing Athena back to her daddy so I could hang out with HB and her two little charges, Jay and Wren, who are three and one. Afterward we biked them home, fed them dinner, and got them ready for bed together.
This week, since school's out, I took Sasha and Ezra on the bus to the science museum, and HB met us there, meeting Sasha for the first time. (Sasha, for once, was exceptionally compliant and well-behaved, and had a blast.)
We have also done a couple of rounds of evening kid-sitting together, once for Jaden and once for two new charges, Colby and Molly.
The point of all this: I am impressed by how well HB works with the kids. She is patient, respectful, flexible, and attentive -- sometimes more than I am, and I'm the one in school to be a preschool teacher. She goes out of her way to really see things from the kids' perspectives. An illustrative moment (pun totally intended) was when Jay was coloring a picture after HB had said, "We need to clean up and get ready for bed," and when Jay said, "I need to finish coloring this," instead of pulling the crayon away from him (which I did once on a different occasion, and then immediately regretted and felt awful about), she listened to the word "need" and let him finish. When he felt done, he happily cleaned up and got ready for bed.
I'm also surprised and delighted by how well we work with each other with the kids. As a team. Without needing to discuss it, we naturally pick up on each other's thoughts and intentions and needs, and step up to support each other. When one of us announces the approach of a transition time (snack time, bed time, time to go) the other is right there as backup. When the kids run in opposite directions, we arbitrarily pick a kid each and stick with them through whatever activity they're doing, without any confusion or anxiety or need to communicate much about it. Later we just come back together and fill each other in.
I take it as a very good sign that someday we will parent our own (hypothetical) kids together as an effective, efficient team.
High fives,
-MP
The approach of the holidays (and the apocalypse) have been throwing everything out of orbit, and consequently our nannying schedules have been different enough from usual that we've had a few opportunities to visit each other during our shifts (with the families' permission).
Last week HB biked all the way to Sasha and Ezra's house with me, and I introduced her to Sasha's mom. While I feel kind of weird around Sasha's dad, I'm super comfortable with her mom and figured she'd be delighted to meet HB -- and she was. "You're totally welcome to hang out any time, you'll have to meet Ezra when he's not napping! And Sasha loves people, I bet she'd love to meet you!" So later that very same day, HB and I met up (Ezra in the Ergo on my chest) and took him, with ponytail and flowery hairclip and baby flannel, to a kid-friendly cafe to play in their kid corner.
A day or two later, I biked to the science museum after handing Athena back to her daddy so I could hang out with HB and her two little charges, Jay and Wren, who are three and one. Afterward we biked them home, fed them dinner, and got them ready for bed together.
This week, since school's out, I took Sasha and Ezra on the bus to the science museum, and HB met us there, meeting Sasha for the first time. (Sasha, for once, was exceptionally compliant and well-behaved, and had a blast.)
We have also done a couple of rounds of evening kid-sitting together, once for Jaden and once for two new charges, Colby and Molly.
The point of all this: I am impressed by how well HB works with the kids. She is patient, respectful, flexible, and attentive -- sometimes more than I am, and I'm the one in school to be a preschool teacher. She goes out of her way to really see things from the kids' perspectives. An illustrative moment (pun totally intended) was when Jay was coloring a picture after HB had said, "We need to clean up and get ready for bed," and when Jay said, "I need to finish coloring this," instead of pulling the crayon away from him (which I did once on a different occasion, and then immediately regretted and felt awful about), she listened to the word "need" and let him finish. When he felt done, he happily cleaned up and got ready for bed.
I'm also surprised and delighted by how well we work with each other with the kids. As a team. Without needing to discuss it, we naturally pick up on each other's thoughts and intentions and needs, and step up to support each other. When one of us announces the approach of a transition time (snack time, bed time, time to go) the other is right there as backup. When the kids run in opposite directions, we arbitrarily pick a kid each and stick with them through whatever activity they're doing, without any confusion or anxiety or need to communicate much about it. Later we just come back together and fill each other in.
I take it as a very good sign that someday we will parent our own (hypothetical) kids together as an effective, efficient team.
High fives,
-MP
Friday, 30 November 2012
upright
My babies are growing up. Literally: they both seize every opportunity to pull themselves upright to stand, triumphantly, for up to seven or eight minutes at a time.
They both crawl with confident clumsiness and alarming speed toward anything tiny they hope to ingest. Mere weeks ago they just rolled and flailed.
They both have enough hair for ponytails. Well, Ezra has had enough hair for ages, but today was the first time I gave him the pebbles and bam bam treatment. (His mom thought it was great.) I've generally ignored Athena's curls because I have no experience with hair like hers, but her mom asked me to condition, comb, and pigtail it this week, and it's so stinkin' adorable that now I'll probably do variations of this every day she's in my care until she develops enough awareness to pull the hairties out herself.
These two are only two and a half months apart, so it's really interesting to watch them develop at their own rates. They're vastly different little people. Ezra is extremely social -- he smiles easily, laughs ungracefully and uproariously, and will exchange grunts and babbles with delight. Athena is much more cautious and focused in her interactions with the world. I call her my scardeybaby because sudden movements and loud sounds frighten her. I have startled her to tears on more than one occasion by sneezing. Hell, she has startled herself into tears on more than one occasion by sneezing. Ezra thinks stuff like that is hilarious. Today he was busting up because Sasha was tossing the changing table pad around. Athena smiles at her name, but she's not a giggler. She's much more likely to put on a Serious Face, little frown and all, and stare you down with such intensity it's kind of disconcerting.
The best parts of my days are usually getting them up from their naps, when they're all smiles, happy to see me and happy to be alive and growing.
Hugs,
-MP
Sunday, 9 September 2012
the art of coming out without tripping over things
Now that I've been employed long enough to receive my first checks
from my two regular families, I've been contemplating if, how, and when
to tell these families about my family. Specifically, that I'm a
big ol' queermo and that I share a bedroom and a cat with a person I
usually refer to as my partner. I fly pretty silent on most people's
queerdar since I have the double whammy of fairly feminine mannerisms
and a fairly feminine physical presentation. (I even currently have
long-ish hair that is neither a buzz cut nor a pixie cut, my two
rotating constants over the past six or seven years.) So it's not like
these families would look at me and just know, or even suspect
that I'm, you know, "of the gay." (Unless they saw my Yeti legs, which I
always cover during interviews with new people anyway because preschool
teaching effectively ruined my body hair self-confidence in childcare
settings.)
With Jaden's mom, I knew her from her blogging presence on the internet, so I had absolutely no doubts about coming out. Within minutes of meeting her I had casually dropped the "my partner" bit, and not only was she instantly receptive ("your partner is welcome to hang out too, Jaden loves people!") but her kid was obviously acquainted with the term partner because he immediately asked in his adorable three-year-old lisp, "Does yo' pawtnah wike kids?" like an old pro. I gave him a mental high five.
My first day with Sasha and Ezra, I picked up a baby board book off the couch and upon my second or third reading to Ezra, I had it well enough memorized to start looking at the pictures that accompanied the text. It's a book called Everywhere Babies and even though it rhymes, it's the least obnoxious rhyming board book I have yet come across. I was surprised and delighted to see that even though the gist of the story was "babies are everywhere and they all sleep, play, and poop" it actually featured a very diverse cast of characters. Not only did it have what were pretty obviously same-sex couples, but it also showed grandparent-aged caretakers and caretakers who looked different from the babies (presumably fostering or adoptive families).
This was my sign.
This family is probably gay-okay and won't fire me upon revealing my true rainbow sparkle colors.
The next time I showed up at Sasha and Ezra's house, as their mom gave me my morning orientation, I saw my window and I plunged for it. It wasn't even really a window, but was shaped enough like one that I was pretty sure I could make it into a window. It went like this:
The Mom: "Sorry about all the noise, the workers should be done pulling off the roof after today. Ezra really needs a nap but he won't sleep through the noise so you'll have to put him in the stroller."
Me: "Yeah, I wouldn't be able to sleep through that noise either."
The Mom: "It's hard to sleep through sudden loud noises, like when they hammer or drop something big."
Me: "For sure. Last night somebody was going through our glass recycling out front and the noise of the bottles banging around woke us up. My partner got really worried that whoever it was would come in and steal her bike. But the type of person who bothers sorting through the recycling for bottles to deposit for a nickle each is probably not the same type of person who will then break into your basement and steal your bike."
The Mom: "Yeah, those people usually consider it their little job, and go from house to house on recycling day. Your bikes are probably safe in the basement."
Did you see that? She didn't even blink at the casual "my partner, she" bomb.
Of course, my partner sometimes goes by "they" pronouns, but one step of coming out at a time.
I would like to high five the people who illustrated Everywhere Babies, as it is now one of the very few board books that I don't despise on sight, but that I actively like. Good job on the passive diversity education front, Everywhere Babies.
Hugs,
-MP
With Jaden's mom, I knew her from her blogging presence on the internet, so I had absolutely no doubts about coming out. Within minutes of meeting her I had casually dropped the "my partner" bit, and not only was she instantly receptive ("your partner is welcome to hang out too, Jaden loves people!") but her kid was obviously acquainted with the term partner because he immediately asked in his adorable three-year-old lisp, "Does yo' pawtnah wike kids?" like an old pro. I gave him a mental high five.
My first day with Sasha and Ezra, I picked up a baby board book off the couch and upon my second or third reading to Ezra, I had it well enough memorized to start looking at the pictures that accompanied the text. It's a book called Everywhere Babies and even though it rhymes, it's the least obnoxious rhyming board book I have yet come across. I was surprised and delighted to see that even though the gist of the story was "babies are everywhere and they all sleep, play, and poop" it actually featured a very diverse cast of characters. Not only did it have what were pretty obviously same-sex couples, but it also showed grandparent-aged caretakers and caretakers who looked different from the babies (presumably fostering or adoptive families).
This was my sign.
This family is probably gay-okay and won't fire me upon revealing my true rainbow sparkle colors.
The next time I showed up at Sasha and Ezra's house, as their mom gave me my morning orientation, I saw my window and I plunged for it. It wasn't even really a window, but was shaped enough like one that I was pretty sure I could make it into a window. It went like this:
The Mom: "Sorry about all the noise, the workers should be done pulling off the roof after today. Ezra really needs a nap but he won't sleep through the noise so you'll have to put him in the stroller."
Me: "Yeah, I wouldn't be able to sleep through that noise either."
The Mom: "It's hard to sleep through sudden loud noises, like when they hammer or drop something big."
Me: "For sure. Last night somebody was going through our glass recycling out front and the noise of the bottles banging around woke us up. My partner got really worried that whoever it was would come in and steal her bike. But the type of person who bothers sorting through the recycling for bottles to deposit for a nickle each is probably not the same type of person who will then break into your basement and steal your bike."
The Mom: "Yeah, those people usually consider it their little job, and go from house to house on recycling day. Your bikes are probably safe in the basement."
Did you see that? She didn't even blink at the casual "my partner, she" bomb.
Of course, my partner sometimes goes by "they" pronouns, but one step of coming out at a time.
I would like to high five the people who illustrated Everywhere Babies, as it is now one of the very few board books that I don't despise on sight, but that I actively like. Good job on the passive diversity education front, Everywhere Babies.
Hugs,
-MP
Thursday, 6 September 2012
first day with Sasha & Ezra
Normally when I start caring for a new family, I just want the parents
to get the heck out of the house and let me blunder around the kitchen
cabinets and kids' dressers by myself. I'm a hands-on learner but I'm
clumsy, so I prefer not to be observed in the act of learning. So I was a
little nervous that Sasha and Ezra's mom was going to hover for the
first week before she goes back to work. But she's so sweet, and so
easygoing, that I didn't feel nearly as self-conscious as I thought I
would, even when I couldn't get Ezra to take a bottle, and when Sasha
had a bout of stubbornness and collapsed on a neighbor's well-manicured
lawn and refused to move ever again for ten minutes. I like that this
family is totally into the idea of getting me a bike seat or trailer to
haul Ezra around (since I won't drive other people's kids around), and
that most of their baby board books feature diverse families. I
think nannying for this family will work out well -- which is good,
because I'm on a reduced-rate trial run for the month of September.
A few of my favorite comments from Sasha, who is six years old, on my very first day of nannying her:
Sasha: You know what I want to be when I grow up? A babysitter. I love kids.
A few of my favorite comments from Sasha, who is six years old, on my very first day of nannying her:
Sasha: You know what I want to be when I grow up? A babysitter. I love kids.
-
Sasha: I’m going to move out of the
house like probably when I’m a teenager. I will buy that house across the
street.
-
Sasha: Do you have a car?
Me: No.
Sasha: Do you have a driver’s
license?
Me: Yes.
Sasha: WHAT?! That doesn’t make any
sense.
Me: Well, I have a bike; I bike and
take public transit everywhere. Cars are very expensive.
Sasha: And they’re bad for the
environment.
-
Me: It was the first day of school, you have a different teacher this year, right? What's your teacher's name?
Sasha: Yeah, Mr. O.
Me: Is Mr. O teacher nice?
Sasha: He's cute!
High fives,
-MP
-
Me: It was the first day of school, you have a different teacher this year, right? What's your teacher's name?
Sasha: Yeah, Mr. O.
Me: Is Mr. O teacher nice?
Sasha: He's cute!
High fives,
-MP
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